In this life, fear women.
Again, I repeat, fear women.
Before you start to think it’s a man saying this — I’m Isabella, and I’ve seen shege 😢.
Last week was my anniversary with my boyfriend. Duke and I met in November 2021. He’d come into the country for Detty December much earlier than his guys, and we met one evening at a Clubhouse.
He moved me from living in Sangotedo (I was squatting sha) with four other girls in a rubbish mini-flat, to my own duplex in Lekki Phase One. That’s when I made the mistake of taking in Ada!
Ada had been my only friend since I came to Lagos last year. She was also the one who took me in when I was at Sangotedo.
Wasn’t it right that I repaid her now that I was no longer a trenches babe?
She moved in & all was good, until Duke came into the country three weeks ago so we could spend our anniversary month together.
Days before he was set to leave Nigeria again, Duke mentioned he had something for me. I remember being so excited — more Dollars? Pounds, maybe? Gold? 🤑
He gave me a small box, and inside was a piece of paper. I was confused.
“Read the note, babe.”
It had account details on it. An email, passwords and all.
“I set up a crypto account for you, Bella. There’s some Bitcoins in it already. You know the world is moving towards a decentralised curren…”
I zoned out. “Bitcoin? Is this playing? For what?”, I thought.
I hid my disappointment till he left to see his friends, then I ran to the devil herself — Ada.
“Babe, see what this man gave me. Bitcoin! Can I take Bitcoin to the car dealership and buy a Range Rover? Why does he want to stress me?”
My ignorance was smelling 😫.
Ada looked at my paper, and I still didn’t get suspicious when her eyes widened in shock, before she quickly hid the expression.
“Ehn…maybe he’s just playing with you jare. I’m sure your main anniversary gift is coming.”
Again, I brushed off my suspicion, left the paper on her bed and went to get ready for my date at 9PM with Duke.
Ladies and gentlemen, that same evening, Ada disappeared from the house.
I didn’t think of it as anything till I was out with Duke and casually mentioned that I thought his “joke” of giving me “Ponzi Scheme coins” was silly, and that Ada thought so too.
“Ada? You told her?” He asked.
“Yes nau! I’ve thrown the paper away sef. Ada has thrown it out for me 🙄.”
Duke looked at me like I’d grown an extra head. “Do you know how much that was?”
I squeezed my face. “How much? Is it not small money? How much can coins be that you want to stress me with it? How will I even change it to Naira?”
“Stress you how? To change Bitcoin to Naira? Haven’t you heard of Breet? Don’t you know the value of Crypto??”
As I was trying to figure out why Duke was so upset, he got his phone, logged into an app called Breet, and showed me what was supposed to be a Bitcoin wallet balance.
I didn’t understand the figure I saw until he exchanged it for Naira. The millions made me almost fall from my seat.
“That took just 3 minutes, Bella! And that was the exact amount I sent to that account for you! You just had to move it to a Breet Bitcoin wallet and withdraw as Naira. Are you really this slow? Wow!”
The ground should have opened up and swallowed me. It didn’t 🤧.
But that was the last day I heard from Duke.
Or Ada, who had run off with what should have been my 300 Million Naira.
I’ve been educating myself since then — on Crypto, and on Breet too.
May I not be foolish twice.
But how do I beg Duke like this?
Hmm. Fear women sha, just fear women 🥺.
